7 Tips to Stay Safe as Bars Reopen After Covid-19

Before you go out to do anything, make sure you sanitized your body properly and have a few drinks.

It has been a tough few months for us social drinkers. Because unless you enjoy downing bottles of booze by yourself, basically all the fun has been sucked out of our lives by the COVID-19 virus. No music festivals, sport events, holidays or even a simple pub crawl or a glass of wine in your favourite restaurant. But it many countries there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. Slowly but certain bars and restaurants are reopening. To make sure everyone stays safe while visiting these places we have a list of 7 handy tips on how to behave yourself. Here’s to taking back our normal lives, cheers!

It’s common knowledge that alcohol kills bacteria. Aleksandr Lukashenko, president of Belarus, estimated that drinking 100 ml of vodka a day should be enough to stay corona-free. And if you don’t trust the last remaining dictator of Europe, just check the content of that hand sanitizer you’ve been using. That’s right, the main ingredient is good old alcohol. So it makes perfect sense that a bar is about the safest place you can be at this moment. If you and the people around you follow these basic guidelines that is.

1. Have a few drinks before you go out
The streets may not be safe. Germs are everywhere and maybe you’ll catch a hint of COVID-19 just by breathing that “fresh”outdoor air. Unlikely perhaps, but better safe than sorry.

2. When entering the pub, start with a round of tequila for everyone
Since you have no idea what happened before you walked in, you want to sanitize all the people in the bar from the first moment you’re there.. Be sure to warn new people that enter the bar to do the same as the evening continues.

3. Spot people who drink non-alcoholic beverages early and warn them
If you see anyone having a coffee, a cola or even one of those 2% radler beers, go over there and gently tell them they are putting themselves and the people around them at risk with this behaviour. Suggest them to order a proper drink or leave the bar. Since most pubs will have a limited amount of seats all of them should be filled by people who take public health seriously.

4. No handshakes, let your glasses do the physical contact
It’s always nice to meet new people or old friends in a bar, but be sure to stay away from handshakes and high fives. Let the drinks you ordered do the work for you. There is no sound more magical or merrier than that of glasses banging into each other.

5. Order distilled drinks at least every hour
Although wine and beer are perfectly safe drinks to have, it’s important to also take your medicine at least every hour. Whisky, vodka, Pretty much all the distilled drinks were once invented to cure diseases, virusses and infections. So choose your favourite one and stay safe.

6. If you meet your crush, down at least 3 shots before you get physical
No matter how many butterflies you feel in your stomach when you meet that special girl or guy, we don’t want to risk public health by getting too physical too early. That’s why you both need to take at least three shots of hard liquor before any saliva is exchanged. A positive side-effect of these three shots is that this evening is probably going exactly in the direction you want it to go.

7. Try to get drunk to the point where you lose stuff
Ever been so drunk that you lost your jacket, your phone or your pants in a pub? Well, that would be great in times like these. Every object you’re carrying is potentially contaminated and therefor unsafe. So if you’re walking home butt naked again, this time you’re the one who has the last laugh.

Micky Bumbar

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Other articles on Lords of the Drinks:

The best 25 alcohol related pick up lines

25 Reasons why alcohol should be served at work

20 Badass replies to stupid remarks about your drinking

The hardest to impossible things to say when drunk

The drunk man’s alphabet

 

9 thoughts on “7 Tips to Stay Safe as Bars Reopen After Covid-19

  1. ha, you could just gargle with the hard liquor and cleanse the throat. but what about the nose? I recommend a hole (with a plug) in the mask and sip your drink thru that with a straw. Keep your mask and pants on, buddy; it might be too cold to walk home naked. plus, yull get arrested for indecent exposure. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahahaha it’s summer in the northern hemisphere, so no worries about the cold here. And people usually keep more than 1.5 meter distance when they see a naked person, so this is actually super safe. I think the cops should respect that.
      Cheers,
      Micky

      Like

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