11 Tricks to get drunk while low on cash

Simple things like the right place, in this case a typical Bulgarian tavern, or the right combination of drinks can lead to jolly times on a budget.

Simple things like the right place, in this case a typical Bulgarian tavern, or the right combination of drinks can lead to jolly times on a budget.

Here’s the scenario: It’s Saturday evening and all of your friends want to hit the town to get wasted, but your financial  situation is horrible. What do you do? Be a party pooper and count your last coins at home, bore yourself to death in the corner sipping on tap water or accept this challenge and get shitfaced on a tight budget? We’ll now tell you some tricks that will make sure you won’t go home sober.

1. Skip food
Seriously, you are running low on cash, but consider to spend some on food?  No wonder you are poor in the first place. Get your priorities straight! Also  booze kicks in alot faster and harder on an empty stomach. A clear win-win situation.

2. Lay a bottom at home
Usually when mothers use this expression, they mean you should eat well before a ‘booze cruise’ through the city centre. Well not in this case. Alcohol from the stores is cheaper than the bars. So chug a few bottles at home. In the perfect scenario you enter the bar tipsy and either hold on to that buzz with a few beers or finish the job with something stronger.

3.  Do sports before going out
Ever noticed how little drinks you need to get buzzed after playing a football match? Use this is in your advantage. It’s free and actually quite healthy to exercise once in a while anyway.

4. Pick the right place
Your friends may want to visit the hottest club, but you prefer the cheapest spot in town. If you’re real friends, you’ll probably find a compromise. A place that isn’t a total dump, but has reasonable booze prices, no entrance free and hanging up your coat is optional.

5. Use a straw
Myth or not? Scientists are devided if drinking through a straw gets you more drunk or not. However it does show your dedication when you’re choking heavy liquor through this tool. Someone might offer you a sympathy drink. And if not, one should never underestimate the placebo effect.

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6. Mix different drinks
Usually there are certain rules to follow when consuming more than one particular drink, like wine after beer, white wine before white wine or go from less strong to stronger. Forget all of that, you want to get pissed and  these rules are holding you back. A personal favorite is to switch glasses of vodka and whisky, and when you feel tipsy finish the job with beer.

7. Drink “special beers”
If you like at least some beers with your liquor, go for the “special beers”. Leave the pilsener from the tap and go for that 8.5% Belgian beer. A single unit might be a little more expensive, but it gets you drunk so much faster.

8. Diet soda only
Some people need some soda in their glass to make the liquor drinkable. Well if you have to spend money on non-alcoholic drinks,at least use diet soda, since the lower amount of sugar gets you drunk faster.

9. Don’t buy soda drinks
An addition to the previous rule. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so today is the day to grow up and accept that mix drinks are for toddlers. Money spent on non-alcoholic drinks is money wasted.

10. Seduce the bartender
Just ask any girl ever what this means. Bartenders love giving away free drinks, they just can’t do it to everyone or the place would go out of business. Now you don’t necessarily need to seduce or flirt, bonding gets you drinks as well. Find a topic you’re both passionate about or even better: make him or her your wingman/woman. No way you’re not getting at least some drinks for free tonight.

11. Clean up the place
The most desperate one of all, but if nothing else works you can always start finishing all the unfinished drinks in the place. It doesn’t cost a cent and will screw you up for sure. Just pray nobody slipped a roofie in one of those drinks.

Micky Bumbar

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One thought on “11 Tricks to get drunk while low on cash

  1. Pingback: Top 7 drinks that smash you surprisingly fast | Lords of the Drinks

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