Joke: the drunkard and the bum

Opnamedatum: 2010-09-29

‘The Mayor of Delft and his Daughter’ by Jan Steen from 1655.


After a bunch of deeper stories it’s time for some simple entertainment. In other words: time for a joke. Have you ever had some homeless bum ruining your buzz by asking for money? Well,  as you will see, you can spin this situation into your advantage. Enjoy this joke and if you want more, you can always visit our collection of drinking jokes.

After a night of heavy boozing a man stumbles out of a bar. To sober up a bit he decides to walk home instead of taking a taxi. Soon he finds himself in a dodgy part of town, where he has never been before. Then a homeless person gets in front of him and asks the man for some change.
The man looks at the bum and says: “I bet you’re gonna get beers for that money, aren’t you?”
– Oh no sir, the bum replies with the face of an angel.
“Hmmm, no beers. So you’re gonna get wine then, ey?!”
– No sir, certainly not. I never drink wine.
“Aha, so you’re gonna get hard liquor right?!
– Absolutely not sir. In fact I never touched a drop of alcohol in my entire life.
“In that case, why don’t you come with me to my place”, the man says.
– Oh sir, that would be too much hospitality. I really couldn’t.
The man looks at the bum and replies: “Hospitality? I’m not offering you anything. I just want you to come with me, so I can show my nagging wife what happens to people who don’t drink.”

More drinking jokes on Lords of the Drinks

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