The strange places one might wake up after heavy drinking

Sleeping in strange places is not without risks. People who make you smoke in your sleep are really the least of your worries. But you’re drunk anyway, so who cares?

If you party hard you will find yourself waking up in strange places from time to time. Sometimes your friends want to go home, but you’re just having too much fun. Sometimes you lose everyone for mysterious reasons and sometimes you just don’t have a clue where you are. These are the moments you realize the night is not gonna end in the bed you planned to sleep in and you have to create a plan B. Here are some of the scenarios you might run into.

You wake up next to a person of the opposite sex. Since you have no idea how you managed to get there, you may feel proud of yourself: kudos! As a guy that is, for drunk girls this method is a lot more easy to accomplish. From the waking up part there are two possible scenario’s: she’s hot (or at least doable) or she’s not.
In the first scenario it’s perfectly normal to have morning sex. It might just get you a free breakfast and a place to sleep next time you lose your way. In the second scenario you get out there as fast as possible. In the hurry you might lose some stuff, but make sure you have the important stuff like your wallet and phone. No underpants is worth it to stay longer or even come back for. Just go commando!
Micky rates: 9

You wake up in a strange house on the couch. Again you have no idea how you got there, but the empty plate on the table in front of you suggests that the owner of the house served you pizza before going to sleep. If you see the owner politely thank him, otherwise just sneak out. Nobody likes the awkward moment when he starts explaining how you got there.
Micky rates: 7

You wake up in the stairways of an apartment building. Apparently yesterday you were still able to realize it was cold and you should not sleep outside. If you realize there’s no possible way you will get home and you need a strange building, try to take the top floor. First of all warm air goes up, so this floor is usually most comfortable. Second: since it’s the highest floor, the chances are smallest that someone will come passing through.
Still the chance of being waked by an occupant, maintenance guy or even the cops is pretty big. But of course it beats the hell out of getting sick outside in the cold.
Micky rates: 5

You wake up somewhere outside. This can be a parc, a sportsfield, a simple bench, a busstop. Probably by the time you wake up you have already been spotted by a lot of people. If it’s in a strange city, this is perfectly allright. In your own town you’’re basicly screwed when the word gets around. The good side of the story however is that you have a steady alarmclock, since you are likely to be waked by the police at daylight. Usually they let you off with a warning and you can go home.
Micky rates: 4

For true stories in the category waking up in strange places, click on the links below:

Waking up in the elderly home

Waking up in complete darkness and silence

Karma is real, so open your doors to drunks

Drunk sea diving and an open air bed

Micky Bumbar

8 thoughts on “The strange places one might wake up after heavy drinking

  1. Pingback:

  2. Pingback:

  3. Sebastian says:

    well don`t know if I should rate it a 9 or a -9 but I once woke up in a bed next to a person of the SAME sex. Fortunately stil had my boxer shorts on and my ass felt kind of okay. Therefor my head didn`t but who wonders. The guy has found me sleeping in standing position between a fence of a construction site and a house wall with my arms sticked through the fence. The apartment I woke up was on the other side of the Rhine in Cologne from where I had my last memory. Actually I was in Cologne to rent out some books from the university library. My mate I was hanging out with the other night for 1 drink only (as I needed to go back to my town 2 hours away by train at that very evening) was kicked out of a club one mile away from me sleeping on the dancefloor in front of the speakers.

    Still have about 12 hrs of my life missing


    • Hahahaha that’s an amazing story! 😀


  4. Pingback:

  5. Kalash says:

    Being a gunfighter and a mercenary, I sometimes wake up in odd places. My personal favorite was the time I got completely trashed in Tiraspol and woke up with a Romanian hooker and some Spetsnaz guys and four emptied litres of vodka.

    LikeLiked by 1 person

    • Hahahaha any memories of the night before? Tiraspol must be awesome. Moldovans sure know how to hold their liquor and their girls are quite hot.


  6. Pingback: The drunk man’s alphabet | Lords of the Drinks

Leave a Reply