Joke: Recipe for a real Scottish Christmas cake

Good whisky is a vital ingredient when making a traditional Scottish Christmas cake.

The Scottish cuisine may not be the ultimate worldwide symbol of gastronomic delights. For some reason haggis, black pudding and deep fried mars bars never gained much populairtu outside of Scotland. But maybe most of the people in this world are just too sober to understand the beauty of these dishes. After reading this Scottish joke we found new respect for their local cuisine. We are gonna let you in on what’s supposedly a traditional recipe from the Highlands. Here’s how you make a real Scottish Christmas cake.

225 grams of flour
4 eggs
50 grams of butter
175 grams of raisins
1/2 cup of white sugar
1/2 cup of brown sugar
2 cups of water
1/2 cup of lemon juice
50 grams of almond
1 bottle of fine Scottish whisky

Take a sample of the whisky to check if it’s austere or rich.
Take a large bowl and check the whisky again to see if it’s balanced
To find out if the whisky is dignified or youthful, pour one cup of whisky and drink it.
Double check with another cup.
Put the flour, sugar, brown sugar, butter and eggs in the bowl, and make sure the whisky is still okay by trying another cup.
Mix the ingredients in the bowl while adding water from time to time.
Sample the whisky to see if it’s dry or sweet. Then break 2 eggs and have some more whisky.
Cover your raisins with lemon juice and strain the almonds. Or something like that. Check the whisky.
Add a spoon of sugar, or salt, or whatever you can find. Try a cup of whisky and put the batter in a baking mold.
Grease the oven, turn the baking mold 360 degrees and check the whisky.
Set the oven at 220 degrees Celsius and the timer on 2 hours. Then throw the baking mold out the window.
Switch off the oven, check the whisky again and go to bed.

Check out more jokes about drunkenness and drinking on Lords of the Drinks

in Fun Stuff. Tags: british, British humor, British joke, cake, check the whisky, cooking, drink whisky, , drinking and cooking, go to bed, humor, ingredients, joke, preparation, , recipe for cake, , Scottish joke, test the whisky,

3 thoughts on “Joke: Recipe for a real Scottish Christmas cake

  1. Ha Ha! Being of Scottish heritage myself I’n going to have to share this one with my father. I’m pretty sure this is exactly how we cook on a daily basis… no matter what we’re making.

    LikeLiked by 1 person

    • It would explain a thing or 2 in the Scottish cuisine haha. Very nice, funny and friendly people though. And great drinkers. My kind of people.

      LikeLiked by 1 person


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