Well we promised you a true drinking story and here it is. It’s long, it’s scandalous and told from the perspective of three different people. Let us first introduce you to the setting and the writers. It was early December 2011 in the Bulgarian student town of Blagoevgrad. As every year the 8th of December is a day that all students in Bulgaria get completely wasted in the many bars and clubs. This year Dutchman Micky from Lords of the Drinks first joined this tradition as an exchange student. Together with co-writer Nikolay and guest blogger Vojda Lurchy he experienced a few epic days.
We start our tale on the 7th of December.
December was the last month of four in my Erasmus exchange period in Bulgaria. Until that moment I had enjoyed many fine parties. Cause if Bulgarians go to party, they mean business. Holding back is not an option. Well, that’s actually right up my alley. So for three months I had an awesome time, getting wasted at least four times a week. But in November already rumours started to get to me about the 8th of December, the holiday of the students. Apparently this day everyone got so hammered the streets were paved with bodies of passed out people and there wasn’t a room in the hospital left. Needless to say I was highly intrigued by this day. This I had to experience first hand.
From the night that the 7th turned into the 8th I don’t know that much. Just that I wanted to be drunk from the first minute of the 8th of December till the absolute last. And that meant I had to be shitfaced before midnight. I guess we gathered with some guys with the same mentality and it’s no surprise the next morning I woke up on the floor of the studentroom of Nikolay and Lurchy. Apparently I lost the keys to my appartment the night before.
Nikolay and Lurchy started their night elsewhere.
A real milestone in my life – the first time I got kicked out of three consecutive parties, following an immediate sobering. It all started when me and my friend – Nikolay, went to the semestrial acting party organized by the university. As the word party implies, there was a lot of alcohol – especially home wine. So it was not for long until me and Nikolay got drunk. And also, since Christmas was on its way, I was spreading some holiday cheer by giving chocolate santas to my friends. Well, the bag with the chocolate santas never made it to my friends, because Nikolay found himself sitting on it. As you may have realized it already, all the santas were chocolate cream now, and when I showed Nikolay what a mess he made, he just put his head in the bag with the smashed santas and started eating the remainings…
And if all that is not enough to illustrate how drunk I was, I will just say that many people were trying to talk me into going home. Even the theater director did it, and that was already too much for me. I started shouting that the others have created a conspiracy with the goal of chasing me away and they don’t want me at the party anymore. Then I added with a tone of threat: “You’ll see what I will do at the next acting party!!!”
I have absolutely no idea what I was intending to do at the next acting party. I only have foggy memories of anger. Then we left and went to a bar named Underground, where drinking in industrial quantities continued.
Well, Nikolay was already drunk when we entered, and this worsened with the vodkas he drank there. At one point he was looking with his empty look into his empty glass when all of a sudden he threw it on the floor. I was also drunk then, but I remember those shattered glass shards flying everywhere. And as you may guess, the guards came and chased us out. Then we decided to take it easy and finish our drinking at a more quiet and peaceful place, like a 24/7 restaurant. There was one that we liked very much, so we went there. Nikolay, of course, was extremely drunk then, so he fell asleep at the table. And to my biggest surprise a guard came and chased us out. And we have been there like a million times before, but never saw a person that even remotely resembles a guard.
The simple mathematics show that we were chased out of three places that night – a record that I haven’t beaten so far. Walking in front of a bar named Plaza (where tequila shots cost 1 leva or 50 euro cents, red.), we saw two friends and started talking to them. However, something more interesting was happening in the background.
One man was finding walking very difficult, so he stopped to pee next a fence. Unfortunately, the pavement was frozen, which made him slip and fall on the ground where he stayed for a while. Our friends saw that and told me and Lurch to go take this man home. I thought I didn’t know him, so I had no idea that this joke would come true.
But when we came closer, I sobered up immediately. “Oh my god, Micky, is that you?” I clearly remember saying that. Then we helped Micky stand up and walk to his home. However, not quite surprising for a drunk man, he informed us that his keys were missing. He couldn’t even enter the block where his apartment was.
I guess Micky was tired of the heavy night, because he reposed himself on the ground in front of the block. And the temperatures were far away from high. “Micky, stand up, you might freeze here”, we said. And he confirmed, continuing to lie on the ground and not giving a shit: “Um, yeah, you’re most probably right.”
After all, we convinced him to stand up and go to our room in the dormitory. Our Albanian then-roommate was inside and he didn’t need to be told what’s going on. So he immediately took a blanket and a pillow and spread them on the floor for Micky who could finally fall asleep in a warm place.
When the morning came, however, Micky was no more in his bed – he was lying next to Nikolay and when he woke up, he said with a kinky smile: “Man, I have no idea how I got here, but I like it.”
Hey, it was 8th of December – the Bulgarian student holiday, so Nikolay and Micky went to the nearby snackbar called Niki’s to start their boozing. I had to travel home to celebrate with friends from Sofia, so I caught the bus to Sofia that was departing shortly before noon.
In the afternoon, Lurch took the bus to Sofia, but Micky and I didn’t know that. We were together at Niki’s, he was sitting opposite me, about 1 meter away. Then he called Lurch to join us, saying: “Hey, Lurch, take Pernik (Nikolay’s nickname, red.) and come to Niki’s.”
I was amazed by how drunk Micky was. Didn’t he see that I’m there? Didn’t he remember that we’d been drinking there for hours?
I think I had some tripe soup and possibly even some more solid food, but for sure we had wine. Lots and lots of Bulgarian red wine. Nikolay and me drunk quite an amount of pitchers and as time went by we got quite intoxicated. At a certain moment our language got so abusive that according to our waiter we were chasing away other customers, so he cut us off.
We left in the evening and went to the dormitory, each of us holding a big bottle of beer. He wanted to pee at some point and he said he was going to the toilet. I had the feeling that something bad could happen, that’s why I went with him. However, I didn’t want to make it a very personal experience, so I stopped at the door of the WC. The female one, because the other was occupied.
In the ladies toilet (the men’s room was occupied I swear) I had a piss and when I went to the sink to wash my hands I collapsed. I felt down with my head on the sink, got up once and felt again on the sink. Hit once on the cheek and once near my eyebrow I sprayed blood all over the place. However it did give me a rush of adrenaline and I felt quite sober very soon. Well sober, I did one more stupid thing: I went to the men’s room to clean myself up, leaving a big bloody trail. Someone told me later it looked like someone gave birth in there.
I don’t know why he fell, but his head dropped right on the sink. There was blood all over his face, people saw that and were worried. Even the residence hall director came, obsessing about sending Micky to hospital. But he didn’t want to; it took tens of friends and about half an hour to convince Micky to go there.
When entering the central hall of the dormitory again people were panicing, saying I should get stitches and see a doctor. By that time I more or less stopped the bleeding and it didn’t really seem necessary to me. But Nikolay and some other friends convinced me that this was the right thing to do. So together with him and two friends from georgia we went to the hospital of Blagoevgrad.
When we arrived there the whole staff seemed rather nervous, even though there were almost no patients… Yet! It was clear that this was gonna be a very busy day for them.
He was obviously the first accident of the student holiday night; it was relatively early (about 7:30 p.m.) So when the nurse saw him, she exclaimed: “Oh, 8th of December already started!” It sounded as if she had been expecting Micky.
The nurse was pretty rude and asked Nikolay why the hell we were drinking that much. With a straight face my friend replied ‘because it’s the 8th of December of course’. The nurse just cleaned the wound and told me to come back a day later for stitches.
When we got back, everyone seemed furious at me. They were looking at me with fire in their eyes. I felt like someone would attack me in a moment. When I asked people why is that, they told me about the suspicions that have been going around. People were talking that I attacked Micky while we were drinking all day long.
After the hospital Nikolay and I – with a head full of bandages – went to a restaurant called Prego to have some beers. We never made it to any club anymore. But since I lost the key to my house I couldn’t really go home either. So I went to the main building of the university to sleep in the teacher’s lounge.The next morning I woke up and saw a woman behind the desk typing on her laptop. She didn’t seem surpised to find someone passed out on the couch there at all. Still I felt a bit embarrassed, so I greeted her and explained the situation: “You know, it was the 8th of December”. She smiled and said I didn’t bother her. But that wasn’t our last meeting.That day I looked up some friends, told them about the hospital and teacher’s lounge and of course these stories made us thirsty. We started drinking and didn’t stop until late in the night. I got the spare key of my appartment of a friend and just like that I wasn’t homeless anymore. When we were done drinking my friends put me in a cab and told my adress to the driver. However I had other plans. Somehow I was convinced I still didn’t have a key and asked the driver to bring me to the main building again.Well the next morning again I woke up to the sound of fingers hitting the keyboard. I opened my eyes half and there I was on the same couch. In front of me the same woman also in the same spot. Now this was really awkward. So I waited for her to go to the toilet or get some coffee and made a run for it. At least I had an 8th of December that will not be easily forgotten.
You’ll be pleased to know that I made a comeback in the Toilet Wars. Since Micky was punched out by one of their sinks I broke the supplies of a toilet in the dormitory and in Piano Bar. Turning the score in our advantage: 2-1.
Micky Bumbar, Nikolay Nikolov and Vojda Lurchy
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