Lords of the Drinks

The buffalo theory

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According to the buffalo theory large amounts of alcohol are good for the brain.

It is the usual assumption that drinking is bad for the brain. However in the TV-show ‘Cheers’ Cliff Clavin claims the opposite. We would like to believe that his Buffalo theory is true. So here’s how he explains it to his buddy Norm.

“Well you see, Norm, it’s like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

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