It’s Saturday and that means our regular followers will probably hit the bar at some point today. And while you’re slowly intoxicating yourself there why not share a few drunk jokes with the people around you. We’ll help you get started with this one. And even if you get zero laughs the trick as described in the joke might still be useful for when you get home. Enjoy your weekend guys. Cheers!
A drunk man walks into a bar and orders a double whisky. He downs the glass at once, but it comes back up immediately and his whole shirt is covered in vommit. He looks at the barkeeper and cries out: “Oh no, my wife is gonna kill me when she sees I got so drunk I puked all over myself.”
“Relax”, the barkeeper says. “I’ll fix it for you. Just give me 5 bucks.”
The man gives him a 5 Euro bill and the barkeeper folds it and puts in the pocket of the vommit covered shirt. “Now you just tell your wife some drunk puked on you and paid you 5 Euro for the dry cleaner.”
The drunkard feels relieved and has a few more drinks before he heads home, where his wife is already waiting for him. “You are late and why is your shirt covered in vommit.”
The drunk tries to put on a sober voice and tells her that a drunk guy puked all over him, but he paid him 5 bucks for the dry cleaner. His wife reaches into his pocket and says: “But there is 10 Euro in here.”
“Ah yeah”, the man replies. “That’s because he shat my pants too.”
Check out more jokes about drunkness and drinking on Lords of the Drinks