13 things you must know before the first Saturday of July

A chalga club (like here The Face in Blagoevgrad) is a great place to celebrate IID, but actually you can celebrate it anywhere.

A chalga club (like here The Face in Blagoevgrad) is a great place to celebrate IID, but actually you can celebrate it anywhere.

Just 2 days before International Izbuhvam Day (IID) it’s very important to be well prepared. Only last year we introduced this new holiday in honor of the Izbuhvamism lifestyle. Is this your first time? Check out the Facebook event and read the following article. Here are 13 do’s and don’ts for the first Saturday of July.

1. Do not overplan your International Izbuhvam Day. Pick a place to start the party and some friends. Like a club with cheap alcohol and music you can explode to, but you can celebrate IID anywhere. Party spirit is within right?! So just pick a spot  and from there on just go where the alcohol takes you.

2. Planning is one thing, but a back-up plan for more booze is something totally different. You got to have one (or more) of those: a bar, a 24 hour store, an emergency bottle at home.

3. Make sure you got your favorite anti-hangover dish ready for Sunday. You’re gonna need it and cooking is out of the question. Hell, a walk to the microwave may seem like a mission impossible.

4. Hide an extra key somewhere in the garden of your house. Chances are high you might lose your original key on the path of drunkness. There’s also a fair chance that your forget you have hidden this key or that you can’t find it when you return. At least you’ll have a nice surprise when you wake up in your garden in an actual bed of roses – which by the way isn’t as great as they say in the songs.

5. Tell your friends and family not to worry when they can’t reach you. No matter if you end up in a ditch, the hospital or jail, there is a good chance your Phone will be switched off.

6. Given the previous scenario’s it’s probably better to just leave your phone at home. At a certain point every conversation will be pointless anyway and you’d be shocked once the phone bill comes in.

7. On the same level: it’s good to look nice, but probably better to not wear your best clothes. You’ll understand why if you check the mirror on Sunday morning.

8. Now for the day itself: Start early! Anyone saying “It’s too early for drinking” clearly doesn’t understand the true meaning of this day. Educate the ignorant.

9. If anybody asks why you are so wasted in the middle of the day, you have to set them (let’s use plural, cause at this time you’re probably seeing double anyway) straight. Such ignorance. Look at them and say: “Are you kidding? Why aren’t you? It’s International Izbuhvam Day!”

10. Make sure you take care of the early victims. It could be you next time.

11. Spread the the good word wherever you go. Izbuhvamism should be widely spread. Use tools if you have to, but be loud. Don’t be afraid to be the centre of attention, more people will follow the right example.

12. If you are still able to talk, walk or other things like that, it’s too early to go home. Bouncers, taxi-drivers and the medical staff of an ambulance are here for a reason. They probably like their jobs, so don’t feel bad for them.

13. If things get so scandalous that you get court ordered for your activities during IID always claim guilty as charged and ask the Judge to set you free given the under special circumstances. International law is superior to the national ones. Claim your right to explode, ask for support by Amnesty International if you must, but never deny your actions. Stick with ‘I’m sorry your honor, it was an accident. I was having to much fun.’

Micky Bumbar

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